In this Meditation, Katie remembers her late brother and explores her own relationship to healing from chronic pain:

Before I was diagnosed with mold toxicity, I would sometimes be incapacitated with pain for days or weeks at a time. These were also the early days of legalized cannabis on the West Coast, and my brother Isaac grew it in California. Always the advocate, he was the first person to excitedly tell me how it was helpful for chronic pain and tummy issues when I first became sick.

At first I was resistant to the idea of using this polarizing plant. Cannabis carried a harsh stigma within our religious community and I wasn’t sure if I was willing to face the risk of potential judgement and isolation if I went down that path. So I waited and researched. Eventually, a few years later, I felt ready to let go of my own judgment and figure out how to change my relationship with pain.

What I didn’t anticipate was how pain relief, and cannabis specifically, would give me my life back. I was able to keep food down which allowed me to gain weight for the first time in years, and I started functioning better.

It has now been five years since my brother Isaac passed, and although I never got to tell him how much his introduction to this kind plant has changed my life, I think he probably knows. :)

For this month’s Meditation, I used a song our sibling Eli wrote remembering our brother.

I’ve been thinking about the forts we’d make in the giant weeds behind our great-grandma’s house and braiding grasses in the cool of the shade. I used a few different “weeds”—fennel, grasses and cannabis (as a little wink to my brother)—to create some interesting shapes. I kept thinking an actual arrangement would come together, but quickly realized that time would not allow this piece of work to ever feel finished...So I let it be, not ready to be done, but done anyway.

Sooo, that is the long-winded way to say that this Meditation is dedicated to my brother Isaac. He always taught me to find the wisdom among the weeds, and I really love him for that.

Love you folks,
Katie

P.S. Just a reminder that this content is not intended to be advice or a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition and treatment. Thank you!

Song: ‘Cry’ by Eli Raine